It's now Sunday afternoon, and things have slowed down. I still feel contractions here and there, but not as regularly as before. With this slowing down comes a small feeling of disappointment. It's as if we were buckled in on the roller coaster of labour, just beginning to head up the first big hill and then... stalled. What comes with this is the recognition that I didn't realize just how excited I am for this process to be in motion, for us to progress into labour, and to meet our first child face to face.
And so, I go back to my daily pregnant life: going for walks, doing the dishes, eating great food, reading about babies, taking naps, and doing yoga. It's the time to continue making space for what is to come, not the time to try and control it. I notice my mind coming into my experience suggesting, "Maybe there's a way to make the contractions stronger? Maybe if you walk more, or squat more, or think more labour thoughts, you'll make things progress." At this point, I realized that my mind is even more conducive to controlling this process than I thought.
Instead of letting my mind decide what to do now, I'm going back to listening to my body, resting, creating space as my body wants and needs, and essentially loosening the grip on the reins of control. Let's let Little Bean come into our exterior world in his or her own time. My body knows what its doing, and so does Little Bean, so just be aware of the process happening in the moment and relish this time as it passes and soon enough, Little Bean will be born exactly when he or she is supposed to be.
I find this quote to be particularly helpful in conveying my feelings:
"Consider that you are not the ultimate Doer of the universe. We don't need to push a river, the old saying goes. It flows by itself." -- Gurmukh, Bountiful, Beautiful, Blissful
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