Delightful Dinner

Glory Bowl, page 32

What constitutes a 'Delightful Dinner' in our house? Well, put together two Glory Bowls, light some beeswax candles and listen to Ella Fitzgerald belt out "A Fine Romance". Top it all off with homemade cookies and chai tea. It doesn't get any better.

Little Towns and Little Naps

The other night, Papa Bean and I went to "Burrito Night" at a local Mexican restaurant - BIG burritos for el'cheap-o price. Yummy, indeed. This nourishing feast was followed by a night at the movies.

Now, this photo above describes perfectly just one of the many reasons I love living in a small town: Two tickets to see an academy award nominated movie tallied less than ten dollars! Yes, folks, you read that right: TWO TICKETS! Less than $10! Total! And, it was a great movie.

When we got home from the early show, I took a nap on the floor before crawling into bed, and someone fuzzy decided to join in on my festivities... I learn the most about napping directly from our pooch.

Not my will, but Thine

Birth Blessing Beads for me and Little Bean

"Om namo bhagavate vasudevaya"

Not my will, but Thine.
Not the will of my ego, but the will of my Body.

Not my will, but Thine.
Not my will, but Little Bean's will.

Not my will, but Thine.
Not my will, but that of all Women.

Not my will, but Thine.
Not my will, but that of the Universe.

I release the need to be the Doer.
I rest secure in this, the Universe, the Union of All.

Not my will, but Thine.

Patience, Trusting, and Letting Go

Mild, but persistent contractions began on Friday evening. Suddenly the thought that "This could be it!" came flooding into our experience! It seemed more real than ever that we would actually get to meet the Little Bean in this outside-the-womb world.... soon?

It's now Sunday afternoon, and things have slowed down. I still feel contractions here and there, but not as regularly as before. With this slowing down comes a small feeling of disappointment. It's as if we were buckled in on the roller coaster of labour, just beginning to head up the first big hill and then... stalled. What comes with this is the recognition that I didn't realize just how excited I am for this process to be in motion, for us to progress into labour, and to meet our first child face to face.

And so, I go back to my daily pregnant life: going for walks, doing the dishes, eating great food, reading about babies, taking naps, and doing yoga. It's the time to continue making space for what is to come, not the time to try and control it. I notice my mind coming into my experience suggesting, "Maybe there's a way to make the contractions stronger? Maybe if you walk more, or squat more, or think more labour thoughts, you'll make things progress." At this point, I realized that my mind is even more conducive to controlling this process than I thought.

Instead of letting my mind decide what to do now, I'm going back to listening to my body, resting, creating space as my body wants and needs, and essentially loosening the grip on the reins of control. Let's let Little Bean come into our exterior world in his or her own time. My body knows what its doing, and so does Little Bean, so just be aware of the process happening in the moment and relish this time as it passes and soon enough, Little Bean will be born exactly when he or she is supposed to be.

I find this quote to be particularly helpful in conveying my feelings:

"Consider that you are not the ultimate Doer of the universe. We don't need to push a river, the old saying goes. It flows by itself." -- Gurmukh, Bountiful, Beautiful, Blissful

What I wouldn't do...

Our pooch is in love with her ball. Her Chuck-It ball, to be specific (see above). The only problem with these balls is that they are expensive (something like $6 a ball), so we try really hard not to lose them. Why do I spend money on these balls? Because I heard somewhere that tennis balls prematurely grind down your dog's teeth. Tell a pet owner something like that, and they won't mind spending money on the good stuff. I'm a sucker. But I'm also frugal. So, like I was saying, we try hard not to lose these balls.

We've been on a good streak for the past six or seven months - yes! the same ball!! Incredible, I know! All good things must come to an end, though. The girls next door, who are super sweet, managed to misplace our pup's sacred ball yesterday. It may not be lost for good, but we needed to bring in the backup ball for today's play sessions. There's only one problem with the backup ball: it doesn't float like the other one; and problem numero deux: we have two big ponds in our yard; oh, and did I mention we only have one backup ball?

All was going fine on our play session today until our pup decided to take a drink out of the middle of one swampy pond, and to take a drink means dropping the ball, and then... well, I'm sure you can guess that we had a sinker. Two balls lost in less than 24 hours?! In my mind - or no actually, quite out loud, I said, "This isn't happening." So, in the first wee days of February, I peeled off my shoes and socks, rolled up my pants and waded into the mucky, swampy, dead-leaf infested chilly waters of this pond and searched for the sole remaining ball. Just before my feet lost their feeling, they crested upon something round and squishy at the bottom, and voila! ball retrieved. Whew! That was a close one.

What I wouldn't do for that puppy... What I also need to do is get a few more floating backup balls because swamp swimmin' doesn't become my regular hobby until at least June.