I've had a rough couple of days. I actually broke down crying twice in the past 24 hours. The Little Bean is not sleeping well, and so neither am I. I think my body is just tired of not sleeping well for the past year. My tears felt like grief for lost sleep, time by myself, and whatever else I've pushed aside to be his mom. I'm normally okay with all this, but it's been coming to a head, and when I'm tired and then more tired, I just feel like I can't keep it together.
In the middle of my leaky breakdown, wrapped in my hand-knit blanket, laying huddled on the floor, I remembered Leonard Cohen's lyric: "There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." I think I just let more light in.
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